Another tax day come and gone

Some of us live on a wing and a prayer.  A wing and a prayer.  This is probably fake, but what if it’s not?  What if this is real?  I have to believe it’s real.  The love of m4m’s keeps me alive.

liberty taxes boy – m4m – 38 (east memphis)

oh liberty taxes boy everyday when i pass by you in your robe and green crown and scruffy beard i wonder what it would be like to suck and fuck you. Maybe we could have a threeway with that guy who plays the pizza guitar just down the road at mendenhall. that little mofo has a lot of energy, maybe you and me liberty boy could double team him.

live free and die hung!

Hershey Squirts Blackmail Brings True Love

I’ve never been so horrified in my entire life as I am in sharing this posting. And by horrified, I mean profoundly jealous that I am not one-half of this missed connection.

you just finished having diarrhea in the bathroom when i walked in – m4m – 25 (Midtown East (NY, NY))

To the adorable guy who exited his stall in our office on e. 57th with a bashful/deer-in-headlights look on his face just now, i won’t tell anyone what an ungodly scent you created (let alone the insane sounds you emitted from your stall) if you meet me for a drink. i’m a little bit scared of your ass but i’d still do you anyhow. let me know. 

omg.

Holy shit! It’s The Gambler…umm, gay cruising…???

Sometimes the m4m’s make me toss back my head and just let out a huge belly laugh.  For that, I will forever be in your debt, m4m’s.  

This m4m is a homegrown Seattle original, though I had no idea we were home to music legend Kenny Rogers. 

Kenny Rogers 4 young guy in park – m4m – 56 (spanaway)

I pulled into park to go to the bathroom, and I heard you say, “Wow, Kenny Rogers”.. I saw you keep looking at me, you very cute, about 25 i think maybe younger, if youd be interested in getting together let me know, tell me something that will let me know its you, or send a pic.

You know what?  You can keep Anderson Cooper.   I don’t want him.  There’s a new silver daddy in town, and the wind through the trees shall whisper “Kenny Rogers”. 

does this vest make me look fat?

We may never know if it was really Kenny Rogers or not.  If only we still had Celebrity I Saw You.  Film at 11.

It Takes a Village to Find a Hung Asian

My heart goes out to this poster; this kind of deep connection is the kind of thing that just deserves to work itself out:

You gave me a massage – m4m – 51 (DT)

You are Asian, and hung, and you gave me a massage. And I am embarassed to say this but I really like you… a lot. I know it was just a massage…but I wish you would go out on a date with me….I would like to get to know you better…you are really my type…. 

I mean, sweet, yeah? Well the gays of Seattle are on the case!

RE: You gave me a massage – m4m (DT)

I know a few Asian massage therapists. I don’t know which ones are hung but it would help if you give a little more details about this guy. Maybe I can help. 

Readers, can any of you offer help? We can all work together to make a real connection!

Black, White, Puerta Rican, everybody just a freaking

Do I need an Asian wife?! Does a Lohan love bronzer? Of course, I need an Asian wife! (I don’t need an Asian wife).

I know this isn’t an m4m, but c’mon people.  I mean C’MON! Myspace marketeers (or whatever teh Internets are calling them these days) used some screwy algorithms to determine that I am apparently a redneck.  Gory, first person shooters? Check.  Ad for an Asian wife? Check.  Thank you, sponsored link.  However did you know my loneliness and barely contained misanthropy were coming to a head?

My most favoritest part of the whole thing is the site that is finding me an Asian wife has a 10 year history in ‘the biz’ of indentured servitude…er, I mean, matchmaking.  Of course, that’s total bullshit.  I don’t even think the Internet  existed 10 years ago.  Back then we called them “mail order brides” and they were war refugees.  Oh, the times they are a changin’!

Ok, more disgusting m4m’s to come, just thought I’d cleanse the ol’ palette with some orange tanner and not-so-subtle racism.

Eye only have eyes for you

Maybe I’m just a bit of a momma’s boy (or Motherboy, if you prefer) but I am really concerned for his mother’s eyes! 

Handsome Latino in Dr. Sage’s office – m4m – 42 (1127 Wilshire Blvd)

You were with you mother getting her eyes checked. We made eye contact a couple of times. I would like to hear from you as the chemistry was there for both of us.

If this guy’s poor blind mother only knew what was going on right under her nose!  This man is a MONSTER!   

Actually, the only reason I posted this m4m, was because it contained the word chemistry, which allowed me to post this:

Who knew high school science classes could be so sexxxy?  Actually, I knew this to be true.  I knew this to be true.

Two tickets to the gun show, please!

This guy has balls of steel.  Well, if he’s still alive. 

Cute guy at the Gun Show – m4m (Fort Lauderdale)

I was checking you out at the Gun Show on Sunday. You were wearing sandals and a Hurley shirt.
Get in touch with me and we’ll hook up.

It takes a special kind of person to go gay cruising at a gun show.  You know, because it’s a FUCKING GUN SHOW!! 

This brings us to a persistent problem (well, more like a persistent appeal)  of these m4m’s.  While I understand why certain situations or locations not traditionally known for being gay-friendly can be a hot bed for missed connections, there are some places where it’s probably just not a good idea to go looking for m4m action circa 2009.   I know this is the Willenium, guys, but you gots to play smart! 

It’s like asking Freddy Krueger on a date in YOUR NIGHTMARES.   Sure, maybe he gave you a double take and you thought he was undressing you with his eyes, but you’re in his world now (Krueger: Nightmares; Homophobes: Gun Shows).  We’re talking basic SAT stuff here.  Sometimes it’s just safer to play hard to gut (omg, loves a bad pun!).

If you've ever been to an Eagle, this guy has probably hit on you.

I know why the caged bird sings

This gem comes to us all the way from the Kentucky m4m’s, specifically Louisville, which is rumored to be a hotbed for gay sexapades! (Not really).

You know how in your darkest hour you pray to whatever God might be listening to take pity on your poor, unfortunate soul? Well, Ursula be praised, this gay (typo, but it stays) calls upon the metaphysical power of Craigslist itself to grant him the courage to make a connection (spoiler: Craigslist denies him the strength).

A passing thought – m4m – 21 (Louisville)

So I sit here at Starbucks watching you work and the funny thing is, not even the anonymity of Craiglist could grant me the courage to say something.

That’s okay, even thunder wishes it could be the snow.

Did you get that guys? Thunder wishes it could snow, or whatever.   I am not nearly smart enough to begin dissecting that little couplet, but the meta-ness of this post is blowing my mind.   Aristotle’s all

“What is the origin of the Universe? What is its first cause? Is its existence necessary?  Do you like me? Check yes, no or maybe.”

Somewhere (heaven),  David Hume is sharpening his knives…

Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them, dude.

How can I get the muscle like yours?

Okay, couple of things I love about this m4m.  Besides the misleading post title–I mean, I legitimately thought he wanted to know this guys work out secrets for “the muscle”–this guy is great at describing every minute detail of his encounter. 

How can I get the muscle like yours – m4m – 28 (LA Fitfness)

Today, around 5ish. You are a hot white guy with short blond hair. Black top shirt and gray pant.
I was waiting for another guy to get my locker when u were there.
You took shirt off when I walked in.

While I was blowing my hair, you left your bottle of water on the countertop next to me….
Hope to see you next time.

“You walked in.  Set something down. I was waiting for 2 1/2  minutes while my friend tied his shoe lace.  You took a drink of water, I washed my hands with anti-bacterial soap…” and on and on and on.  I really want to know what ”the muscle” refers to.  His heart?

Also, there’s not really a mention of the other guy noticing his existence.  Sounds like normal, everyday locker room hijinxs, so how will I ever know if it’s me or not?!

As a point of reference, this is usually what my locker room visits look like:

Hello world!

My name is Craig. You may have heard of something called Craigslist, but I’m not that Craig.  No, I’m the Craig who trolls the Craiglist m4m’s because that’s apparently a thing.  Honestly, they’re too good to keep to myself, so now I will blog them, for your viewing pleasure.  Enjoy!